On the Turning Away

From the pain and frustration, I'm making great strides. Anyway, so since I stopped talking to that friend of mine, we had a brief period of going back to normal, and then we both decided to stop talking, then they got upset we stopped talking, and I decided that it was better not to. 

I'm burning some bridges lately, it seems. Oddly enough they seem to only be females; no I'm not going gay, haha. Regardless I feel as though it may be a better thing for me to do. One of those persons changed from what they used to be, and very hypocritically and seflishly. The other I got tired of just dealing with their problems, and the last was that whole last post all about.

As physics states theres no way to destroy matter, it just takes a different form and has it! School has somehow been making me feel pretty good, which probably will change after monday/tuesday. But until then I feel that love for learning feeling, and it's still as great as it always feels. 

I got my finger infected...thats kinda unfavorable. Hurts pretty bad, looks like a large pimple next to my nail. Aaaand what else has been happening...

So have I been going through life changing stuff? Yeah, but I seem not to care that much, which is either very selfish or good of me. It feels good for me, and probably not so much the other people, but you know what it's god damn time I start caring about myself. I honestly feel like it's all I do is give other people advice and shit. So is it time for me to say "Hey, I don't care?" Is it time for me to start giving myself my own treasured advice? Is it time I stop spending my time and effort to not help my friends? 

It's not that time. Not entirely. I can't just leave them all in the dark without my for some reason treasured advice and somehow tolerable discussion habits, haha. But I can stop leaving it as my number one priority.

Does that mean I don't care? Of course not. Sometimes I don't, but most of the time I do. I like my friends happy but lately it seems none of them have cared im not, maybe they feel they can't do anything. Meh. I know some of them really care, and those who do are my favorite and best friends. Others who don't, then I guess I don't/didn't need them. 

Am I really doing this, you asked. 

Well, it's about time I said this to someone. Fuck yeah I am, I'm doing what I want to do. I'm taking control, and fuck those who say that I can't, that I shouldn't, that I'm leaving them in the dust. If you can't keep up, I'll miss you, but I guess I won't wait up as much as I always used to. 

It's my time to shine, and you're time to follow. THe world changes in polar opposites sometimes. Let me make it my time? Fuck no. I will make it my time now.

"Pickloads of Dickmin" - Nick